If you are pregnant...
... If you are pregnant and looking at this website, we want you to know we understand.
We understand that you may be feeling alone, confused, and even a bit guilty. You may be feeling lost, sad, and scared. Our goal is to help you. With all of this.
Please read this next part carefully and come back to this whenever you need:
1) If you are pregnant and unsure of whether you are ready to raise your child, by considering adoption you are already being a "good" mother.
2) Women who consider their options, women who ask themselves whether they are ready and able to care for another human being are loving just by thinking about their child's needs.
3) Whether or not you decide to place your child for adoption will be your decision. If you are seeking support during this time, we are here to help you.
4) We understand that making the decision to place a child takes time and thought. Our practice is to support and listen. We know that the best decisions come when no outside pressure is applied, and when women are able to think and process carefully.
5) Whether your decide to parent your child, or place her for adoption, we are happy to talk to you, to listen, to meet, to help.
6) We have been doing this work as a nonprofit service for more than 45 years. We know adoption inside and out. We know the process, we know the feelings, we know the struggle, we know the legal parts. We know it all and we enjoy sharing what we know with women who are wondering what to do.
Regardless of where you are at in your thinking, whether you are are 5% or 95% certain about parenting or placing your child, if you feel you could use some non-coercive support, please let us know.
We really love our work, and we look forward to meeting you.
Adoption Then and Now
Adoption has had a broad history. Just as American society has evolved and changed through the generations, so has the process of adoption.
In the early 1930s, it was a widely held belief that adoption should be a discreet process, that secrecy should be maintained to protect not just the adoptive family, but also the birth parents. American society believed that a relationship between the child, the adoptive family and the birth parents would just cause undue stress and emotion for everyone involved. This was furthered by the societal view that being an unwed mother was shameful, and, as a result many women kept their pregnancy a secret and placed their baby for adoption.
However, by the early 1980s, society came to realize that this secrecy, guilt and shame only led to resentment and depression. Not only did adopted children not have a sense of where they came from, but women who had placed their babies for adoption were forced to live their lives never knowing what happened to their baby.
As a result, the face of adoption is very different today. Instead of being shrouded in secrecy, today’s adoptions are an open process in which birth parents, adoptive parents and the child embrace their relationship to one another.
Today, birth mothers formulate their own adoption plan, tailored to their own wants and desires for the birth and the life of their child.
As a pregnant mother, you will have the option to hand-pick the adoptive family for your child. If you desire a family with no children, one of a specific religion or even one that lives in a specific state or region, the choice is yours. If you want to meet the family prior to the birth, you may specify that as part of your adoption plan. Likewise, if you want the adoptive family to be present – or not present – for the birth, the choice, again, is yours.
After the baby is born, birth mothers today can choose the kind of relationship they prefer to have with their child and her or his adoptive family. You may also send your child birthday presents, holiday wishes, etc. If you desire a more open adoption, which includes phone calls and even visits with your child, that is your choice. Establishing your own adoption plan will allow you to find an adoptive family that shares your same beliefs and will honor your wishes.
This open relationship between the birth parents and the adoptive family sets the framework for your child in understanding that you chose adoption because you loved them. Your child will grow up knowing exactly where they came from, just as you will know how happy and loved your child is.